Five Deadly Sales Letter Mistakes
(Re-printed with permission)

By Ernest Nicastro

To be effective your sales letter must be opened, read, believed and acted upon. In order to do this it must attract attention, warm the interest of the reader, create a desire for your product or service and cause your prospect to take positive action.

An effective sales letter, not surprisingly, achieves the same objectives as an effective salesperson. And just as there are certain mistakes a salesperson wants to be sure to avoid in the selling process, the same holds true for the writer of sales letters.

So today I present Five Deadly Sales Letter Mistakes. Eliminate one or more of the common blunders described here and it’s a good bet your response rates will improve.
Deadly Sales Letter Mistake # 1 – Writing Your Letter For the Hundreds or Thousands of People You Will Be Mailing It To Instead of One Special Person. One sure way to generate an apathetic response to your sales letter is to write for the group or list of people you will be mailing it to.

Approaching your letter with a “crowd mentality” instead of focusing in on a single, real, living, breathing prospect will greatly impair the ability of your letter to make a genuine connection with the reader.

The sales letter is the most personal, one-to-one form of advertising there is. As is often said, it’s the only form of advertising that begins with the word “dear.” So it should read like one person sitting down writing to one other person. And here’s a crystal clear example of exactly what I mean by that statement. It’s from a letter by the brilliant copywriter and non-pareil advertising man, Maxwell Sackheim:
“Thank you very much for having written to me for my latest catalog. A copy is being sent to you in another envelope and should reach you in a day or two.

“When my catalog arrives I hope you will give it as friendly a welcome as if I were visiting you myself. I’ve tried to put into it just the words I would say to you if you were to come here personally, or if I were to come to your home and spend an evening with you.”

Deadly Sales Letter Mistake # 2 – Thinking that Your Prospect Won’t Read a Long Letter. The key question is, what makes for a long letter? To which the answer is, any letter that is uninteresting is a long letter! Even the one-page letter that many salespeople and amateur marketers arbitrarily limit themselves to can seem long.

For example, a number of years ago Kevin Costner made an interminably boring and bloated movie entitled Waterworld that the critics panned and audiences ignored. On the other hand, Stephen Spielberg’s inspiring and unflinching film about the Holocaust, Schindler’s List, was more than three hours long and it was a huge critical and financial success.

Here’s my point: People read long books, take long trips, and watch long movies and plays. And evidence abounds that people read long letters. But people won’t read boring letters, dull letters, obviously self-serving I-me-we-product-oriented letters.

Offer the right product or service at the right price to the right audience and if you have enough to say and say it interestingly enough…you can make a five-page letter pull a better response than a two page letter.
Deadly Sales Letter Mistake # 3 – Being a Slave to the Formal Rules of Correct Grammar. When you were in school, teachers and professors were paid to read your work and they dutifully corrected your writing according to the formal rules of grammar.

In the real world it’s a different story. When writing sales copy you want your work to have a conversational readability to it. And in most instances that means writing in an informal style. Because that’s how the vast majority of buyers and sellers communicate with one another.

As a result, you’ll break a number of formal grammatical rules. You’ll start sentences with “and” or “but.” Instead of complete sentences you’ll sometimes use a sentence fragment. But that’s OK. And every now and then you’ll dangle a participle or end a sentence with a preposition.

If all of this seems totally against the grain consider this true story. Winston Churchill, a Nobel Prize Winner for literature, was corrected by one of his proofreaders for ending a sentence in a preposition. To which Mr. Churchill replied, “That is the type of nonsense up with which I will not put!”

Your objective is to generate a lead or advance or close the sale. Not one of your prospects is getting paid to read your letter. This time your “grade” will be determined by how well people respond.
Deadly Sales Letter Mistake # 4 – Giving The Reader a Reason For Not Reading. Beware of the “so what” reaction of your typical prospect. Simply stated, they don’t care about you, they don’t care about your product or service and they don’t care about your company.

Indifference is the order of the day. So you must grab hold of your prospect’s mind with a startling statement, a provocative question; some volley of words that will stir them from their apathy and make them pay attention to your letter.

But capturing the prospect’s attention will do you no good unless you hold onto it. And you do this by focusing your copy on one or more of the fundamental urges which motivate people – fear, exclusivity, greed, guilt, the desire for love, beauty, health, salvation and so on.

Among these you must find or create the symptom or symptoms which your product or service cures. If your letter does not clearly and convincingly articulate your “cure” you have given your prospect an excellent reason for not reading it.
Deadly Sales Letter Mistake # 5 – Not Offering Proof That Your Product or Service Does What You Say It Will Do. Not only is your typical prospect indifferent, in the vast majority of situations he is also highly skeptical. That’s why you always want to offer the reader proof that your product or service will do what you say it will do. This will serve to validate your claims and minimize your prospect’s skepticism. Most important, it will establish your salesperson – the sales letter – as a more credible and believable source of information.

The proof you offer up in your sales letter can take several different forms. Here are two forms of proof that I have found to be very effective:

1. Customer Testimonials – A testimonial from a satisfied customer with a well-known, well-respected company is some of the most valuable proof you can offer. But make sure that the testimonial copy speaks to specific and relevant issues and concerns your typical prospect is likely to have.For example, you sell training services and you know that one of the biggest concerns your prospect has is whether or not the training will produce meaningful, measurable results. So you go through your thick packet of glowing testimonials and find a statement that speaks directly to the prospect’s concern. This is what it says: “When you compare 6 month’s of results prior to your training with the 6 months after, we have improved our market share by $2,261,000 and have established numerous new dealer relationships. Thanks to you, we are the only district in our region to experience any type of retail growth.” 
2. Tell A Success Story – As a salesperson you know that stories sell. That’s because, as skeptical as the typical prospect may be, she knows that few people will stoop so low as to fabricate a story. Like any good story yours has to have some drama to it. And of course the hero of the story is you, your company and your product and/or service. Here’s an example of what I mean. It’s from a letter I wrote for one of the top brokers at a commercial real estate firm and this is how the letter opens:

“They had accepted our purchase price. But when the building inspection revealed many small details that needed repair their response was, ‘No way, this is an as-is purchase.’

“My clients just did not have the time to “lock horns” on this issue. Fortunately, they didn’t have to. As their representative it was my job to get them what they wanted.

“I persisted. In phone call…after phone call …after phone call. In meeting…after meeting…after meeting. I met with the broker. The property manager. The corporate ownership’s management. Their attorneys (ugh!). I persisted. And, I negotiated.

“The bottom line? My clients got everything they wanted; every repair they asked for. Some $40,000 worth!”

Stories sell, in person and on paper. They sell because they offer the prospect believable and credible proof that your product or service will do what you say it will do.

Your sales letter is the pen-and-ink embodiment of YOU, the professional marketer or salesperson. So when writing your sales letter think of yourself first and foremost as a salesperson, not a writer. And that means communicating with the prospect in much the same way and selling to him or her using many of the same tools as you would in a face-to-face meeting.

© 2006 Ernest Nicastro

About the author
Ernest Nicastro, a direct marketing consultant, copywriter and lead-generation specialist, heads up Positive Response, an award-winning marketing firm specializing in B-to-B marketing and lead-generation. For your FREE copy of the Positive Response Special Report, 77 Sure-Fire Marketing Tips Guaranteed To Boost Results, email Ernest (subject line Tips) at ENicastro@positiveresponse.com. Or, contact him by phone at 614.747.2256. For more information visitwww.positiveresponse.com.

You may reprint this article online and in print provided the links remain live and the content remains unaltered (including the “About the author” message).

To be successful, you only really need to:

1 – BE People Centric
2 – BE Technology Literate
3 – BE Branding & Marketing Focused – And
4 – Do Great Work

Here’s how I distinguish these four tenets of success:

1 – People Centric: With the possible exception of commodity purchases (ie. where you choose to buy your paper towels), contrary to what many believe, business is rarely conducted business to business, or business to consumer. But in fact it’s almost always conducted person to person. We’ve all heard the phrase “nothing personal – it’s just business”. I assert the opposite is true – “it’s not just business – IT IS personal”.

People do business with, refer business to, recommend and in other ways support – other people that they know, like and trust. They also frequently give special consideration for those whom they feel supported by – personally. What do I mean by support? – I mean showing you care, your listening of them, your encouragement and acknowledgement of them, your generosity of time & resources with them. Your willingness to help them overcome a challenge or solve a problem they are struggling with.

Sales trainer & author Ken Foley states “adults are grownup kids with A.D.D.” not the Attention Deficit Disorder that we typically think of – but a persons inner & unmet craving for attention, to be heard, to be understood, to be acknowledged and valued. I’m convinced the greatest & most powerful skill set we can develop is to take a genuine interest in, listen to, give attention to, acknowledge, encourage, and value others. If you make it “all about them” vs. all about you, I think you’ll find you go a lot further, a lot faster, with a great deal less effort.

What difference have you made in someone else’s life today?

2 – Technology Literate: The Internet just is. The personal computer just is. Connectivity, cell phones, email, instant messaging, text messaging, personal Web sites, Blogs, social networking sites, online forums, etc., etc. just are. All of the current technology we see and hear about that other people (see the first tenet) are using, being productive with, are leveraging to solve problems, are communicating with, and most importantly – are participating in and with – simply exist.

The question is – are you participating with, leveraging, connecting with, communicating with & supporting others using these tools & communities? The imperative of learning, leveraging and communicating with and through these technologies is not coming around the bend, or in the future, the imperative is – right now!

3 – Branding & Marketing Focused: Let’s be honest – we now know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that no business, no organization, not even an individual can possibly hope to gain the visibility, exposure, & customer mind share necessary to be successful in the long run using “traditional” advertising. Yes I know, there are still large companies, investing massive amounts of cash into traditional advertising campaigns that do produce “some” results. But these results have been, and continue to diminish, and will do so into oblivion. Traditional advertising ROI is virtually dead.

Are you still beating that dieing & almost dead horse? If so – why? You have a choice, a choice to develop a “Brand” for yourself and/or your business/organization using the first two tenets. A brand that showcases your value & expertise, as it applies to others.

Let me step back and clarify something here. I believe that traditional advertising is dieing/dead because it is by definition “speaking AT people” (essentially vomiting information AT people, about you and your services, whether they want it or not, and most often at times and in ways they don’t want, and frequently resent you the advertiser for). Indeed this is the lowest rung on the marketing ladder.

The next rung up is “speaking TO people” (telling/sharing information that your market research indicates people may want to hear & be willing to listen to) that’s a little better, and often produces somewhat better results.

Almost at the top now is “speaking WITH people”. It’s a two way conversation, it’s asking questions, really listening, sharing idea’s & insights. Proving you actually do care about them, and your willingness to serve & support them (see the first tenet), showing them the value you can be for them, and that you value them! In marketing it’s respecting their choice of what information they want, when they want it, and how they want to receive it (see the second tenet).

This gives access to the very top rung of the marketing ladder – the Holy Grail – having people talk “about you” to and with others. That’s when your Personal Brand begins to pay dividends. You just need to insure that what they are saying about you is the value you’ve brought to them vs. how irritating your advertising is, or how unhappy they are with what you’ve done for them, or your organizations poor customer service – which is why you must:

4 – Do Great Work – for “Them”: Give great advice, be generous, become know as a contributor to others, go the extra mile for “them” – whether they are paying you or not. Simply don’t give “them” (anyone) a reason to talk about you with anything but allocades. Whether they be clients, staff, associates, or even casual business associates.

To validate what I’ve just shared. Look to yourself, how do you want to be spoken to, how do you want help solving your problems & overcoming your challenges, how do you want to receive information about products & services you’re considering?

I’ll bet you’re far more willing & likely to participate in a conversation with, and engage with a practitioner/individual/company/organization that gets & operates with the formula above, than one who is carelessly & constantly speaking AT you, without regard for you, or respect for you, or acknowledging you – as a person. Either way – you’re likely to talk about them to others and your words will have a great deal of sway to those with whom you speak – and so will theirs.

Mark V Bullock
Practice Marketing Advisor & Business Coach

This all leads to their concern (fear) over what it’s going to take from them to “get over the hump” in order to get the results they want. Ultimately many then become resigned, focusing on all the reasons they can’t do what you propose, and then come up with every conceivable “objection” (real or imagined) to engaging with you. Price is the most prevalent objection, even though it is rarely the “real reason”. The real reason is they either don’t see the value, or more likely, they are afraid to they won’t be able or willing to do what they need to do (their part) to create the results they want.

I recently converted a prospect into a client that followed this path. They were originally a “yes for sure”, then canceled, then a “not now, but definitely later” and finally a “let’s get started now” confirmed new client.

As for the how – I went above & beyond in offering Business Coaching (I’m also an experienced Business Coach) to help them move past what was standing in the way. This was as simple as a no-fee coaching session, and a couple of phone calls & emails. More importantly I refused to just give up (I wouldn’t buy into their resignation in the matter), but I was also not “attached” to gaining their business or desperate in any way. I just committed myself to their success – and – committed to their becoming a client now vs. later and the value that I could provide for them if they did.

The question is – where can you go above and beyond for a potential client, adding value up-front, that shows your commitment to their success? Perhaps you could show them a path forward, a way that they can do what they don’t believe they can’t do, to get the results they want.

You see, you have an impact on your clients and in fact everyone you interact with. Whether you know it or not. Whether you see it or not, and whether you intend it or not. It’s the same impact that carries through from your marketing efforts, to your initial conversations with someone, to your follow through with a long term client relationship.

What is your single biggest impact? It is simply your integrity. Do you do what you say, when you say you will do it? Do you Honor Your Word? Let’s be honest now, we all have our reasons for being late for a meeting, or not completing a project on time, or missing a conference call. Circumstances and reasons abound. But your circumstances & reasons don’t mean anything to your clients, not really, nor to anyone else who needs to trust you, only whether they can count on you or not. It’s that simple.

There’s a rule of thumb that says “how you do anything, is how you do everything”. In fact this rule is embedded in our psyches. We unconsciously know when dealing with someone who is late or in some way breaks a promise -that we can’t completely trust them to keep future promises. We also know when someone shows respect for our time and attention, by being on time, and fulfilling on their agreements, that we can probably trust them in the future, and even outside of the context of our current interaction.

So the single most powerful client retention tool is simply to Honor Your Word. To do what you say you will do, when you say you will do it. But what if on occasion, despite your best efforts, you can’t? Then notify the other party at the earliest possible moment, in advance if at all possible, and make a new promise of time/delivery and keep it. In other words, acknowledge the break down, clean it up, and move forward. Make this a day by day, moment by moment practice, and watch your practice and the strength of your relationships grow!

Seth Godin touches on this principle in his blog at http://sethgodin.typepad.com/seths_blog/2008/09/time.html

Mark V Bullock

Partner / Practice Marketing Advisor

PracticeMarketingAdvisors

PracticingProfessionalsBLOG

It’s crystal clear in this market place the value of branding yourself as a specialist. But that doesn’t mean you can’t capitalize on more general or other specialist opportunities with existing clients as those opportunities arise. And frankly – why not create those opportunities in the first place?

Here’s a couple of quick samples:

1. Some folks are uncomfortable referring others, or you may be uncomfortable asking for them. So how can you always follow the marketing thumb rule of always ask for referrals? Here’s the secret – Don’t ask for a referral – ask for an “introduction”. After confirming your client is happy, simply ask if they know anyone they would be willing to introduce you to. Make sure you are willing to give away an initial meeting to advise or council. This is a much softer sell, and far less threatening request than asking for your customers to essentially “sell” you to their friends & associates.
2. Add every client to your ongoing follow-up system. IE. your email/snail mail newsletter, your seminar or event invitation schedule, your promotional invitation schedule, copies of any and all press you receive, etc., basically any and every chance to stay in touch. Also, don’t forget to invite them to any fund raiser / charity events you sponsor, golf outings, trade show’s they may enjoy, etc.
3. Lastly, consider developing a small & affordable, value driven, maintenance/update program. This could be a yearly Will review, or a bi-annual financial planning review, anything you can turn into a retainer and/or recurring revenue that keeps you top of mind and creates ongoing value for your existing client base.

The above are just a handful of ideas. Fact of the matter is, it’s no secret that expanding the lifetime value of an existing client, and farming regular high value referrals is not only a huge boon to your bottom line, but much more cost effective and productive that constantly chasing after new clients through traditional advertising means.

For another effective habit on getting referrals watch this video:

Referral Marketing – Planting Seeds by Bill Cates

Mark V Bullock

Partner/PMA
Practice Marketing Advisors
PracticingProfessionalsBLOG

Then I hired my business coach Tom, and what he led me to understand was at that time shocking to me. He indicated that if I raised my rates substantially, and repositioned myself as a specialist, I would indeed lose some of the bottom dweller clients, but that would free up time to be much more effective and add greater value to the clients that could afford my new higher rates.

Fast forward 6 months, I trusted Tom and went out on a limb. I re-focused, re-branded myself, and did not 1 but 2 price increases, effectively doubling my billable rate. The net effect? I nearly tripled my income, cut my hours in half, and started to make a huge difference with my remaining clients by having the time to go much deeper and be much more strategic with them.

I had a whole new level of relationship with my “best” clients. They suddenly appreciated the value I brought to them, they became much more respectful of my time. Additionally they listened to me more, taking more of my advise & counsel. They were more “bought it” and committed to their projects, having more skin in the game. All of this and having the bottom dwellers fade away, made my practice, and my life much more enjoyable.

All of the sudden high value referrals started showing up, and frankly I had a new problem. How to select which clients I wanted to work with. The desperate client chase was over, now prospective clients were literally waiting in line for an initial consultation.

Mark V Bullock

Partner/PMA

Practice Marketing Advisors

Client’s back-peddling or canceling after the sale hurts. It hurts not only the bottom line and your confidence, but it wastes valuable time. Ultimately it hurts the client/customer as much or more than you, because in their minds they had their hopes & trust in you dashed, and have wasted their time too.

This thumb rule is in part an incredibly powerful sales tool, part “managing customer expectations”, and part practicing making a “complete sale” – that sticks.

Recent brain research has revealed that the human mind is a prediction machine. Always wanting to know what’s coming, what’s around the corner, and in respect to you and your service, wanting to predict what their experience of you, and your product and service will be like.

So here’s the short answer; People don’t expect perfection, they just want whatever they spend hard earned money on to work. They don’t really want “cheapest” they really want to solve a problem, or at least make it go away. They hate being misled and manipulated, they appreciate honesty and integrity. So the more you can paint an accurate and authentic picture in their minds of what engaging with you will be like, so that they sense they have a “real” idea about what’s coming, the more accountable they will be to honoring their commitment to buy.

Lastly, of course – they want value from you. Never pretend that there are no downsides – that there is ever a payoff without a cost. If you are the one to bring up not only the “pay off’s” (upsides) but also the “costs” (downsides) of what you are proposing – you will be perceived as trustworthy. The salesmanship comes in being able context those downsides for them, in advance, in a way that empowers them to make an educated choice, and stick with it.

Mark Bullock, Partner/PMA
Practice Marketing Advisors

I often speak with clients about the value of brand “consistency” in the context of customer service.

An example of the power of this rule is the success of McDonald’s. I don’t think you’d find many people that would say that McDonald’s makes great tasting food, or even that their cuisine is very healthy. So why then, if “quality” is not their main value in the marketplace, is McDonald’s so successful?

I assert it is their commitment to delivering a “consistent” customer experience over time. They can be “counted on” for a number of things in the customer’s minds; Food that always tastes the same no matter which store you buy it from. The same consistency applies to the food being served fast, and hot.

Notice then, that frequently what consumers obviously prefer is not necessarily excellent quality, great taste, or even great service from McDonald’s, but the consistency of delivery. The fact that their customers can count on that, consistency allows consumers to connect with the McDonald’s brand with first familiarity, then trust in knowing what they are going to get when they walk in the door – every time. It’s not great – but it is familiar and they can count on it. This is powerful and persuasive brand marketing at it’s best.

Question: How could you make your customer’s experience of you more consistent so that you can leverage “familiarity” & trust in your brand building?

Mark V Bullock, Partner/PMA
Practice Marketing Advisors